Reading through someone’s personal blog is sometimes like taking a walk down the paths his life has taken. Sometimes, when you know that person, you might find walking the path with him, sharing that part of his life.
I am not that lucky that I would have made enough of a difference in someone’s life that I would be alluded to in some elegant, feel-good way. It’s not like anyone carries a picture of me in their wallets (or heart even!) I don’t make much of an impression on anyone, not a positive one anyway. But, as I was strolling down someone else’s memory lane… I came across myself peeping in from the outside. And saw my life change as I looked on in awe.
Ironically, someone WAS carrying somebody’s pic in their wallet… and THAT, more than anything else, intrigued me. I thought it was a sweet, romantic albeit tragic gesture. Someone had made so deep an impression on him that even when they had parted ways, he had her close to him. Not in a stalker sort of way… more like a beautiful memory.
Was it the defining moment in my life… when someone’s lost love made me want to have a permanence in mine. Even if it was, 6 years later I still haven’t found it. I guess, my life runs in a loop around those moments. I may be older, hopefully, wiser… but still hungry, still waiting.
So, I turn the pages of the digital journal… going back to that moment again and again. Maybe, somewhere in my head, I wish that the post hadn’t made that mark on me… that deep aching wound. Perhaps, life would have been very different now.
Perhaps the ‘someone’ you referred to ALSO got wiser as s/he got older.
I wouldn’t be surprised… As usual, time works against me.