Yes… I signed up for help. Online help…’Better Help’. They assign you counselors after you fill up a questionnaire. Apparently, privacy in these matters is a big thing… I don’t really care if people know that I am depressed and seeking help. I guess, it is better than the alternative… holding it in and ending up in an asylum soon.
Although, a padded room is something my mind conjures up as a peaceful and very desirable place.
Back to mundane matters… After thinking about the whole thing a lot and crying myself to sleep over it for the last few nights, I finally made up my mind that I cannot afford to have an apartment of my own. It’s either get a decent apartment in a good area (and those don’t come cheap) and starve myself because I won’t have money for anything else OR get a sharing apartment and maybe not have to starve and clothe myself in rags.
In the current state of my mind, I am hardly capable of being assertive in any situation. The reason I didn’t want to share an apartment is that I would end up giving up all my ‘space’ to the other person. I would not be able to put my foot down if I see something that upsets me. I will end up putting up with everything the other person throws at me. Maybe all this is just speculation and for once I will be selfish about my own happiness, though, I seriously doubt that.
Of course, all this can be avoided if the person I share the apartment is not the hell-fiend my mind is painting them out to be. So, all the nice women out in Kuwait who are looking to share an apartment, I have nothing against you and hope I find one of you. You’d also have the added advantage of sharing your apartment with an Ugly Betty (me) and so be the focus of all attention. I would anyway withdraw to one corner of my room (and be out of everyone’s way) when I am not out working.
Here’s to apartment hunting starting this weekend. And hope the counseling helps somewhat… or I would need that padded room instead of an apartment.